September 9, 2012 Melancholia
Melancholia is a 2011 film from Lars Von Trier. Though Danish and Swedish, it stars many American actors such as Kristin Dunst, Kiefer Sutherland and Alexander Skarsgard. The movie is about Justine, who is depressed. As we watch her journey through melancholia, we become aware of a parallel journey by a giant blue planet named Melancholia. The planet swings out of its normal orbit and collides with earth. Justine accepts her fate calmly; where as her “normal” healthy sister falls to pieces. The central idea of the movie is that depressed people are actually calmer in stressful situations because they are not so disillusioned or unprepared. Their acceptance of the worst possible outcome can actually be practical at times.
Anyway, the movie was a bit slow moving, but I liked the idea behind it. I kept waiting for the Garbage song “Cup of Coffee” to play instead of Wagner’s “Tristan and Isolde.” The lyrics are fitting, “A million miles between us. Planets crashing to dust. I just let it fade away.” How many times did I feel like the world was ending? Anxiety and depression can create a very real sense of impending doom. It is rather disappointing to wake up and find that nothing has changed. There are times when the end of the world would be more of a relief than a tragedy.
Since the song “Cup of Coffee” was on my mind, I spent last night browsing Garbage videos on YouTube at work. For some reason we had a lot of technical difficulties last night. First the front printer wouldn’t work—at least with the Fosse system. Then the master key wouldn’t work.
Anyway, it occurred to me that I have too often pushed away people who would love me for those who don’t. I have a habit of choosing to love someone who doesn’t love me back or who loves me less than I love them at least. It is easy to love for me, but perhaps more difficult to accept love from others. I thought that maybe the men in my life to help me learn to be open and accepting of love. In opening myself up to them, I open myself up to feeling worthy of love. No more fighting. No more frustration. No more melancholia.