February 19, 2007
Entropy has many implications. It was developed or discovered in relation to thermodynamics. Entropy, then, is used to describe energy dispersal and the idea of irreversibility. The practical applications grew to encompass the ideas of order and disorder. Information theory picked up on it to explain how much information is lost in transmission or communication. In recent times economics, sociology and psychology have all jumped on the entropy train. It appears as if the energy metaphor makes a great deal of sense—it is universal. He is yet another application—relationships.
Relationships require energy. Do relationships work toward an ultimate balance or do they irreversibly degrade and dissipate? Can they work by alternating between order and disorder? Do some relationships balance while others are left to lose energy? Do relationships exist in a paradoxical state or are there some rigid rules of physics involved?
I do not know the answers for sure, but I can use my own experience to explore these heated questions!
It is my past relationships that perplex me. I long for balance in the form of closure. They still trouble me because the distribution of power is still largely unequal. Is my urge to even things up and balance the power a natural urge? The unresolved issue of these ill-fated love affairs keeps pulling me in. I gravitate toward the people who caused me pain. It could perhaps be my masochistic streak, but perhaps it isn’t. Maybe it is entropy that keeps entering my life. Synchronicity seems to be on the side of relationship symmetry, as I keep running into old flames or running into similar situations at the very least.
The problem with what I’ve termed “Karmic House Cleaning” is that may of these “Emotional Entanglements” have proven resistant to the power of peace! I have worked to clear away pain, anger and hatred from life in order to become evolved and enlightened. Should I be concerned at all with others? Without closure or at least some sort of conversation between these people of the past and myself, I still feel as if the process is incomplete. Is the desire for empathy and apology merely wishful thinking or the universe pushing toward an entropic equilibrium?
The pain of the past seems to be the type of energy that dissolves into chaos. IT appears to irrevocably dissipate into tiny fragments. The relationships break apart and people drift out of our lives, but we are left with the residual energy. Time creates space and space creates chaos, or rather, the emotions are not cohesive or coherent. We can’t identify these floating fragments of former love in our vast expanse of our experiences. Yet they never go away completely. Emotions, like matter and energy, can only transform. They cannot die or be destroyed. Time may pry apart the amount of usefulness a relationship has, but that does not mean that the energy that propelled you to that person is no longer present. Pain also pries people apart. Denial is perhaps the most damaging demon of all. But is it ever too late to repair the damage and create order out of disorder? Or are some situations beyond our reach? Can we choose, with our free will, to refuse the order of the universe or will the natural laws push us toward our inescapable fate of equilibrium?
Some people may argue that life and love are inherently chaotic—that there will always be loss. They may believe that the world works in a very random way. Chance and luck are all we have to live for in their minds. But anyone who is spiritual, anyone who truly understands how the natural world works in harmony, will see that there is order. Disorder is merely process and a partial picture. Order and harmony always make it into the larger picture. How can one not believe that relationships are the exception to the overall order of the universe? Surely, there must be a balance eventually. Love and fear, good and evil, yin and yang. Yet, I may have to wait a while to see the process complete. Perhaps all we have is our faith in the end….