Somewhere In This Time
Sometimes there is an essence that spans through a period of time in one’s life. I fell like I am really coming into myself. I look back and see me struggling to be who I am now. There is more, but I know it will come easier now.
I look around my room and see my Legends of the Fall poster, my small prints of Gauguin, Renoir, Monet and Picasso. I see my Memories poster—the woman with one tears sliding down her cheek, the True Love Poster and my Red and Black Yin/Yang poster. How varied! How me! There is a broken computer on my desk which has become a board for post-it notes. I have college books on my bookshelf that is already overflowing. I have picture albums, a chess game, a radio and all my tapes on my bedside table. I have Mariah Carey, Joan Osborne, Alanis Morrisette, Hum and Garbage. I also have the TV in my room with a VCR that only plays tapes and doesn’t record. I have a dresser covered with clothes, make-up and perfume. There are scrunchies on my bed post where my handcuffs used to be. I have an Egyptian calendar hanging up on the wall.
I’ve got a lot of “stuff” but it is not the “stuff” but it what it means to me. All my experiences and interests are reflected in them And right now my experiences are when I sitting in on my poetry class and everyone asks ME what a poem means. Or when I am walking to Jason’s car. I know that Jason will always be there for me. And the feeling I get when I am at Jason’s house…I feel at home, which I never did at Paul’s place. And when I am dancing or talking on the phone I feel the essence of the moment. When I am studying for a test or just lying alone, I feel a part of things. I am not longer on the outside looking in. I am connected. I am alive.